-=Shannon=-
-=05-11-87=-
-=NYP=-
-=Multimedia & Infocomm Tech=-

-Enjoys:
-=Soccer=-
-=Rock music=-
-=Volleyball=-
-=Bass=-
-=Guitar=-
-=Drums=-
-=Slacking=-

-Friends:
-=Abel=-
-=Brian=-
-=Christon=-
-=Cymon=-
-=Dorisa=-
-=Faith=-
-=Gao=-
-=Gaorui=-
-=Gerald=-
-=Jimmy=-
-=Lakshi=-
-=Lyndsey=-
-=My Sister=-
-=Michelle=-
-=Priscilla=-
-=Rachel=-
-=Rochael=-




Monday, January 31, 2005

9th post

You Are 19 Years Old
19

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.



i'm really just 17...but hmm being 19...




Sunday, January 23, 2005

8th post: the kiasu old man with no sportsmanship

wah lau! i'm so pissed off with that kiasu old man with no sportsmanship can...wah lau eh!

we'll refer to him as red bean paste..

yeah so yesterday i was playing volleyball at church, and this kiasu red bean paste started making a big hoo-ha about how this guy reached his hand over the net and it was a foul, how this guy in the back row was spiking in the spikers zone when he wasn't exactly spiking... and called Uncle Chin, the referee, one-sided. so insensitive can.. and he was so insensitive to Cymon, Jeremy and Ralph. i mean come on, they're new to the game right? y tekan them like that.. ok maybe Ralph isn't so new to the game anymore, but he IS improving! give the man a break man, some people just learn slower right.. later on in the game, he really pissed Pastor Chan off..not really sure how to describe in words what he did tho..but basically he was damn sia lan to Pastor Chan la.. and Pastor Chan buay tahan tell red bean paste

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

haha that's something i wanted to say to red bean paste long time ago..haha

after the game, red bean paste tried to shake Pastor Chan's hand, and guess what. Pastor Chan ran away! haha it was absolutely hilarious watching Pastor Chan run away from him, like as if they were playing catching like that... haha.. anyway, Pastor got to the other end of the court and i also walked there, and he said to me

"I only shake hands with people with sportsmanship."

i walked over and shook his hand and replied, "i agree." haha

and then today, red bean paste came and played soccer with us.. wah lau so violent can i think i probably got like whacked by him twice.. and he like so "asshol-ic" lor. come and talk about offside and stuff.. he don't even practice what he preach lor. last week his own player was in a PERMANENT offside position and he just keep quiet about it.. and he always say this, "it's just a game" but he doesn't play like it's JUST a game.. he play with little kids he also just take them down like full grown adults, and with adults, he tackle like they had steel legs.

i felt like taking him down myself a few times man..i running with the ball and he stuck his leg so high to like my abdomen area, i wanted to grab his leg a pull him with me man. and he's constantly elbowing me. and he says that the way we jam the goal post is not playing soccer and we must play professionally. i so felt like playing professionally and foul him professionally like by breaking his legs, wah lau eh! i feel like sliding into him and twisting his legs or when he's marking me from behind, elbow him in the face (pardon me).

then another thought came to my mind. maybe i should get the teens and the younger kids to sign a petition that says:

for the safety of the younger kids and some smaller sized teens, we decide that "red bean paste" should cease to play soccer with us.

sheesh...

anyway, i gotta run..see ya around




Tuesday, January 18, 2005

7th post

Life is good...again... =D

Well, it is sad that my
sister ain't here.. but now i feel that i know her a lot better and when she does call i'm sure i can do more than just give her 1-word or 2-word answers.. And when we meet online, it's as if i'm talking to my really good fren and i dun really wanna leave the com!

strange that i'm actually this close to my sis now! I still remember when we always quarrelled when i was a lil kido... then get angry at her and slam the door.. =p hee hee hee...


but all that has past.. I LOVE YOU SISTER!!! ~*~muackz~*~ >wet sloppy kiss<

since my depression, i've gotten a lot closer with some of my friends and God too... some how my friends are appreciating me more... actually i think they always have been...it's just that i neva took great notice of it... till i had that conversation with Faith, and she told me some of my good qualities and how i should accept it when people say words of appreciation towards me and believe it and not like go "no la, i'm not as good as u say i am." OR "so-and-so is better than me". and i guess it has made me more aware about this kinda stuff...

so...

THANK YOU FAITH!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!! ~*~muackz~*~ >kisses your foot< hee hee

to my great mother... I LOVE YOU TOO!!! ~big bear hug~ i know i never say that i love u...but u know i do...i'm just not very good and using the word love...=p my mother has been very strong for the 7+ years... and i really admire her... i mean, just look at this son of hers...

and to my dad that i lost almost 7 years ago... I LOVE YOU TOO!! i dun know u that well.. but i hope that when we all get to heaven, i can get to know u more!! and i can show u all my newly found talents and abilities... i hope that when i see u in heaven, i can be a son that u can be proud of...DADDY, I MISS YOU!!! A LOT!!!

to all my friends reading this...I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!! you guys mean a lot to me and i really dun wanna do stupid stuff to lose u guys...u dun know how much i love u...sometimes i may hurt u but i really do love u...thank you for accepting me, flaws and all...and thank you for the things that u do to cheer me up when i'm down.. to right me when i'm wrong.. you guys are the best!

to those who have read till here and are crying...really sorry...i'm also crying...

and Life Is Good!

and God is good, All the time...and All the time, God is good!!





Wednesday, January 05, 2005

6th post: I've found peace!

Today I probably made the most progress of my recovery from depression! I wanna thank Rochael especially.

The following excerpt explains why.


Me: hey how long are u and daniel gonna last ar? I think u go anywhere ar that's it...lot's of guys will come after u..

Roch: no lahz. I got no heart for other guys liao. I made up my mind...I love daniel alot!!

Me: I guess I now know wad my sister meant by I did the right thing, I gave u up cos we din work out and dan got with u.. and now u say u love him a lot.. I'm very happy for u.. I'm very happy I did wad I did..it hurt me a lot.. but I made 2 ppl really happy... and I did it again this time..and I hope down the road they'd be like u and dan! I'm really happy for u.. I'm really happy with wad i did... remember wad I wrote? "Pain is when you know you can't have the girl you like so dearly...happiness is accepting the fact and knowing she's happy with someone else she wants to be with.."

Roch: but i really treasure d time we spent! but ya..God does have other plans for us i guess.. yeah n m proud of u, will always b proud of u..i really admire u u knoe dat!

Me: really? well..THANX!

This conversation with Rochael made me find peace and happiness and I'm really proud of the phrase I came up with. It also made me realise I'm not that bad a person really! Not perfect, but not as horrible as I think myself to be. =D

Thank You God, Rochael, My Sister, Faith..and all my friends who are trying all they can to cheer me up!




Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Lyrics of Swing Swing by the All American Rejects...quite meaningful for my situation

Days swiftly come and go
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall

Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed
By a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Dreams cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old
They bend, they fold
And so do I to a new love

Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed
By a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Bury me
(You thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(Away, away, away)

Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed
By a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?




5th post

This must be the shortest interval between 2 posts.

Anyway, I'm feeling better thanx to God and Faith and my sis... at least a little anyway. I mean how selfish can I be when I just gave up the girl I like to another guy without even putting up a fight when i know i can. Besides, we Chinese also have a saying "ai jiu rang ta zou" (if u love her[or him], let her go). Oh well...but still, it'll take a while to get over her la...

Well been pontang-ing(skipping) lessons like everyday. I mean the lessons I pontang are not like really important lessons. They're lessons which you can go home and read for yourself and still can do well that kinda lessons.

Anyway...Just got back from school. Very sian ar...

Will blog soon...till then...tata

Phrase i made up myself:
"Pain is when you know you can't have the girl you like so dearly...happiness is accepting the fact and knowing she's happy with someone else she wants to be with.."

Memo to self: Smile







Sunday, January 02, 2005

Lyrics of the Song of the Day : Linkin Park - In the End

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though
I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though
I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know..
I've put in my trust in you
Pushed as far as i can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know.




4th Post

Ah well...here's the update no one except my sis and maybe 1 or 2 others have been waiting for!

Wow!!


Anyway I went for Thailand camporee as u would know, came back and well, "beauty" asked y I was so depressed at the camp. I told her it was cos i felt so near yet so far from this girl I like which was "beauty" herself (yes there was someone else, but it was her that I was depressed over at the camp...)

And after sms-ing each other for a while she told me that she only likes me as a friend...and that is what i call a rejection. (Note to Lakshi: I did not ask her to go out with me, she gave me the answer. I never intended to ask her.)

Anyway I was like real sad and I also realized I’m a horrible person. I'm selfish, I'm nowhere near the brightest guy, I'm super emo, I suck at practically everything I do, I've got a temper problem. sheesh whatever bad traits of a person u can find I think u can find in me la..

Then today, the 2nd girl chose another guy over me. Oh well, what can I say. Given my lack of creativity, I'll follow what Hansel said and adept it to my situation. People O level so good I so lousy, next time get A level, I only Diploma. He so smart of cos the girl will go for him. And i shall quote from the Loser movie soundtrack: " I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby!"

Anyway, I think she won’t regret it la. I AM, after all, just a teenage dirt bag.

Oh ya, I just wanna thank all my friends that have stuck by me so many years. Gao Rui, Rachel, my family, Karen, Gerald, Daniel, Faith...anyway u guys know who u are. Thanx for putting up with this teenage dirt bag...U GUYS ROCK! And God my Rock RoXxoRx too! I'm such a lousy person, I'm so sinful, I'm like so far from being what Jesus would be like...yet he loves me so!! And to further state my lack of creativity, i shall copy the slogan of Carlsberg, ("Carlsberg, probably the best beer in the world.) and adept it to my situation:Shannon, probably the biggest loser in the world...

Oh well till the next time I blog (which I hope will be a happier post)-=OUT=-

Song of the day: Linkin Park – In the End



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